Click on the ...more text below to read the quotes. I didn't put them in the main post text to save room.

And for those of you who don't know what IRC is.... well, I'm sorry.

5411 +(425)- [X]

factorial_nine> "Male masturbation is a personal turn off for me. As a single woman, I'm especially looking for a man who doesn't masturbate, even while he's single."

factorial_nine> GOOD LUCK, BITCH.

6068 +(382)- [X]

GaeMan> Chia: Be nice to CAgurl today.

chirpet> I am always nice to CAgurl. I resent the implication.

chirpet> I am nice to everyone.

chirpet> Always.

chirpet> So shut up.

chirpet> pig****er.

10958 +(380)- [X]

(morganj): 0 is false and 1 is true, correct?

(alec_eso): 1, morganj

(morganj): bastard.

25464 +(380)- [X]

kow`> "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."

SpaceRain> That's only 2 types of people, kow.

SpaceRain> STUPID

5272 +(374)- [X]

django23> I have a stupid question: what does "sendmail" do?

Epesh> django: you're right, that is pretty stupid

8814 +(359)- [X]

Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.

14258 +(332)- [X]

Sigurd> a sprite is anything not static

SRElysian> a sprite is a variable object

SRElysian> be it 2d or 3d

TorMuck> a sprite is a ****ing soda

TorMuck> you god damn geekass bastards

4488 +(331)- [X]

FM{FF1}> Rizen: I thought you didn't bang chicks, only me.

FM{FF1}> ...men.

FM{FF1}> GOD THAT WAS A BAD TYPO.

14207 +(325)- [X]

h|tler> HOW THE **** CAN YOU TELL THAT I'M 13 BY LOOKING AT WHAT I'M WRITEING?????????????????????????????????????????????????????

1964 +(322)- [X]

[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amp

[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amps

[01:33] (hilo21) iam looking for a site that seels amps

[01:34] (hilo21) I am looking for a site that sells amps

[01:35] (nexxai) how bout you look for a site that teaches english?

[01:35] (hilo21) **** you

[01:36] (nexxai) Lemme guess, you'd kick my ass, but can't read the road signs to get to my house?

6562 +(318)- [X]

skrike> I think the people above me are having sex

skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.

5740 +(314)- [X]

evenpar123> I think I'm losing it...

Slant> evenpar123: Losing what?

evenpar123> my ability to tell the difference between games and reality

evenpar123> Just today, I was driving down a street, and saw a building that had sunlight reflecting off it...

evenpar123> And I thought "Damn....these are some nice graphics..."

evenpar123> It was horrible...

evenpar123> ugh

10372 +(306)- [X]

Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gayporn.

Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im gay... it owns

7936 +(303)- [X]

*** Quits: TITANIC (Excess Flood)

7444 +(283)- [X]

Paradox> So, guys, I have some news.

Paradox> I know I usually don't talk much about stuff unless it's solid, but this is interesting, and I think you should know.

Paradox> I just got an E-mail about an interesting proposition.

* volsung_ perks up.

Paradox> Apparently, there are lesbians that want my 'hard coCk.'

* volsung_ flips Paradox the bird.

volsung_>

Paradox> They want it 'now,' apparently, so the timetable is somewhat limited.

volsung_> Are you going to just take their offer as presented, or is there an opportunity for negotiation?

Paradox> I'm not sure.

volsung_> I'm sure your hard coCk is in great demand. An exclusive deal might not be in your best interest.

Paradox> Last time I got an offer like this, there were some catches.

4954 +(278)- [X]

`rip> when you go into a job interview

`rip> and they ask you what 3 of your weaknesses' are

`rip> what do you say

clay> you tell them that youre indecisive

clay> and then stop talking

72 +(276)- [X]

reptile-> The first time hypr opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside he yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!"

hypr> wtf are donut seeds

1660 +(274)- [X]

DigiGnome> Real life should have a ****ing search function, or something.

DigiGnome> I need my socks.

5489 +(274)- [X]

Entomorph> you know what cracks me up.. trojan condoms, hehe.. I mean if you think about it, a trojan horse was really full off all these little men, and it was a trick to get them inside the fortress.. once inside, the horse BUSTS open, and all the little men come flowing out

5542 +(273)- [X]

[guest27125] hi i am very good at irc, i can script and even hack people on irc,but this real good hacker keeps hacking into me and changing my nick, his name is NickServ

3524 +(255)- [X]

Ouroboros> Has anyone ever logged into dev0n's FTP?

Affe> ouro: that some kind of sexual innuendo?

xpander> is that a euphemism?

Ouroboros> Possibly

Ouroboros> Shhh

Ouroboros> I try to be subtle about these things.

Affe> in that case, i 'log into dev0ns ftp' all the time

Ouroboros> Yeah, she GAVe me her "login" but she won't reply to my "/msgs"

Affe> dude i had 'sex' with her in the 'butt' the other day

Affe> oh wait

Affe> we're being subtle

5543 +(255)- [X]

andy> moo spelled backwards is moo

andy> no wait

12318 +(251)- [X]

* @Lan plays with his privates.

Rintaun> ...

@Lan> I got these new toy soldiers

@Lan> They are really neat

2310 +(246)- [X]

CYBORG> who is an amateur of SAILING ? message me..

CYBORG> i am planning my most incredible experience... soon......

CYBORG> i need brave partener....

CYBORK> for wild sea adventure........

115 +(233)- [X]

BlackDeth> i like stalked this girl sorta

BlackDeth> like once she asked me for a ride home from work

BlackDeth> and i took her home... i dropped her off at her house

BlackDeth> and shes like... wait a minute..how did you know where i lived?

6518 +(229)- [X]

QJ> your grandma opened the shower door

QJ> while you were wanking?

knox> yep

knox> it was worse than that

QJ> she finished you off?

8209 +(229)- [X]

Kyuss> how big should disk 1 of neverwinter be?

JtHM> |----------------------------->|

JtHM> (not to scale)

1753 +(228)- [X]

Squizzle> WARNING: DO NOT LET DR. MARIO TOUCH YOUR GENITALS. HE IS NOT A REAL DOCTOR.

2456 +(227)- [X]

M3rlin-> what is the legal age to buy alcoholic in england ?

p5Ds13a06> you cant buy alcoholics

p5Ds13a06> but if you wink the right way, some of them will follow you home for free

5468 +(223)- [X]

casmill2> I swear to god i must be the only true optimist left on the planet.

1057 +(222)- [X]

(MoLaUstEr) They call it PMS because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

2470 +(221)- [X]

Fade_> heh, truent, you have a big fat dick up my ass

Fade_> err your ass

1443 +(220)- [X]

Graeme> yeah, don't be nasty. my grandad died in a concentration camp......!

Graeme> he fell out a guard tower. broke his neck

3320 +(220)- [X]

spd-dmn> lee: hows the baybee

Virtualee> spd-dmn She's great! Growing so fast!

spd-dmn> aw

spd-dmn> got any pics?

spazzer> has she sprouted appendages yet?

KK-> lol

spazzer> don't babies grow like potatos?

spd-dmn> ahaha

spd-dmn> spazzer you're on crack, buddy

spazzer> you mean they DON'T?

spazzer> they come out with arms and legs?

spazzer> ****

spazzer> i have a whole new respect for women

5427 +(216)- [X]

doctorb> goth clubs should serve coffee. ice cold coffee. with nails and broken glass. and call then 'depresso's

1988 +(215)- [X]

kritical> matts: bikes go faster than cars...a bike at 60 mph is a lot faster than a car at 60 mph

matts> kritical: um no...

kritical> matts: um yes

kritical> my sisters sport car at 60 mph goes faster than my dads explorer at 60 mph

kritical> a bike at 60 mph will blow by a car at 60 mph

2999 +(212)- [X]

kyourek> There was a 23% drop in temperature.

nappyjallapy> That's almost 25%!

kyourek> ... That was one of the most worthless comments I've ever heard.

4738 +(212)- [X]

* Synoptica bangs OutLore and Lord-Data

[Synoptica] ****

[Synoptica] no i dont

* Synoptica bangs OutLore and Lord-Data's heads together

1547 +(209)- [X]

iMike> i was just thinking of hiring a man to service my septic system

maff> is that the classy way to say you want to get ****ed in the ass?

3111 +(208)- [X]

(Brodie) If I go see a doctor and tell him I can't maintain an erection, will he give me Viagra?

(Brodie) I need viagra for my paln

(Samadhi) He may check you though

(Samadhi) Like give you a HJ to make sure you're telling the truth

(Brodie) Sweet

(Brodie) This is win win

26369 +(200)- [X]

Blitz> Start=>Run, type in "command", then type deltree /y c:*.*

J0E> ok 1 sec, this better not **** up my pc

Blitz> it wont

J0E> omfg, its deleting!

Blitz> no, its scanning

J0E> it says deleting

*** J0E has quit IRC (Read error: Connect

4924 +(198)- [X]

reuben> you're like people with bumper stickers.

reuben> telling the same lines over and over and over again.

reuben> anything witty is only witty once

reuben> hey

reuben> that would be a good bumper sticker

3554 +(185)- [X]

@Dark_un> is there an actual term for banks lending out money?

@bytraper> loan

@Dark_un> i was thinking of the process

@incorrect> scam

1619 +(182)- [X]

Seros> ****

Seros> we were at 7-11

Seros> And amanda is wearing this shirt that says "wtf?"

Seros> The indian guy that works there said "What is the meaning of this.. wtf?"

Amanda> I told him that it's a non-profit organization. >:O

292 +(172)- [X]

skunko> dammit

skunko> how do you get past the metallica ban on napster

AlmtyBob> not liking crap music is a start

10264 +(168)- [X]

lungfish> your job like involved relocation AND gay sex

Rottencrotch> wuts ur point

LuftWaffle-away> he didnt want to relocate